So. This month was all themed around Eureka moments, revelations, epiphanies and…er…lightbulbs. This meant the audience activity for this month (‘Come Learn With Rally & Broad!…’) asked folk to fill in a crossword about electricity, energy and so so […seriously? you guys are so very rock n’ roll…Ed.] and then…er…come up with a limerick. What we forgot to say was that you could then hand the poems in to get a shiny prize. So, no one handed them in. So, we thought we really had just bored the brains out of folk, and no could be arsed. We were so wrong. We found them all at the end. Yous really, REALLY put some work into this. You’re all damn fine people, and we are eejits. We will make amends. In the meantime…they’re printed below in all their glory (as accurate as we could make them..) Thank you! Thank you all!
love, R&B xx
There was a young man with a taste
For cooking with nuclear waste
For two years or three
He indulged, dearie me
Till the flesh fell from his face.
Archy’s lady, in his bath, she lay
Giggling at her image’s golden ray
A voice called ‘Eureka!;
She couldn’t see the speaker
till he fell, translucent, where she lay.
(Siofra, Erfan, Elina, Laura)
There once was a girl called Lola
Who extolled the virtues of solar [panels]
Every cunt was like ‘oil!’
She’s like ‘naw, this joint’s gonna boil
think of the bears, polar!’
There once was a man with a power station
Who won a contract to frack the nation
He was the owner of INEOS
The cunt didn’t give a toss
Now Scotland will feel that sinking sensation.
There was a young woman whose goal
Was to burn up a shitload of coal
On the day she was paid
She bought a big spade
And dug a huge fucking hole.
There once was a rod of plutonium
Who they thought they were renewable like a harmonium
But tidal and solar called
And said ‘You’re not renewable at all’
And while not strictly a limerick, definitely worth an honourable mention…
Two girls on an adventure train to Glasgow
To watch + listen to the Rally & Broad Show
They said it’s about electricity
And its connectivity
And with a feeling that resonates in its simplicity
Eureka! To the measure of their get up & go
I say bravo!
Thank ye all, and see you on December 28th for ‘The Hangover Special!’