Who Here…Needs To Apologise?

Roll up & own up…to open the Glasgow Apology Shop, we asked the audience to consider some possible sins…*

[*with thanks to Francesca Beard for placing the idea in our soggy brains at her wonderful masterclass the day before!]


Who Here…?

Who here has something to apologise for?

Who here wants an apology from someone?

Who here has eaten a whole onion?

Who here has swum in the sea in winter?

Who here took a gap year?

Who here has watched the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy (extended version, Director’s Cut) in one sitting?

Who here wants to go home?

Who here knows where home is?

Who here has wanted to run away from home, even though they’re an adult and live alone?

Who here really likes Miley Cyrus?

Who here likes wrecking balls?

Who here has made their own soap?

Who here has lucky pants?

Who here has stalked someone on Facebook?

Who here has had a stalker?

Who here wants a hug?

Who here wants to be left the fuck alone?

Who here has made love with someone as if they wanted these two things at the same time?

Who here has urinated in the ocean?

Who here has eaten their flatmate’s lunch?

Who here forgot their very good friend’s 32nd birthday?

[stop it, you two… Ed.]

Who here has had sex with the wrong person?

Who here has been so love in someone that they can’t be in the same room as them without needing to physically touch them?

Who here thinks that is love?

Who here has vomited spaghetti?

Who here likes cats?

Who here has apologised to God even though they are an aetheist?

Who here has been consciously cruel?

Who here has harmed an animal?

Who here has tried to be vegan?

Who here thinks the internet should come with a breathaliser?

Who here has broken a law?

Who here has committed a crime?

Who here desperately tries not to give a fuck?

Who here has caused hurt?

Who here has nothing to apologise for?


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